On the 31st evening I nearly scolded my friend X for what I thought was an overdose of concern and protectiveness towards his girl friend. Two days later I am most distressed to note that I’m ready to eat my words.
He had got a last minute call from this girl he adores, and he had to make plans for the evening. So there we were discussing at 6 on the evening of the 31st what his options were. One of these, which both of us thought was an excellent idea, was to go across to Pune, a lovely city and a favourite with many of my friends. Only he felt it was too late already, and if they tried doing that they might well end up spending midnight crossover to the new year in the bus on the highway. So I suggested that to be faster he should take a cool cab instead. His immediate reaction was ‘no way, they are too unsafe for a woman’. I pointed out to him that he would be with her, but he was adamant that it was not safe, and that in the event of any untoward incident on the way, there was little he alone would be able to do to help. I was a little miffed at this restriction that all of us have had to impose on ourselves at some point in our lives. Having grown up in Delhi, I have done that more times than I care to recall, or yet I have never grown used to it. This curb on my freedom inspires an unnaturally strong opposition in me and mixed feelings of anger, helplessness and frustration. This was what I felt yet again as I was having this conversation with X. I mean, this was Mumbai, this city is different.
Apparently not.
The cover story in today’s HT is how a mob ushered in 2008, for themselves and for a couple of young women, for whom the first two hours of 2008 will be unforgettable forever.
It was mobocracy once again.
My apologies to X, he was right. I’m sure he would never want his girl to be caught in a situation like that, and one can hardly blame him for finding the sacrifice of giving up on a romantic trip to Pune preferable to taking the risk.
An aside: If there’s anything to rival my feelings from the conversation a couple of days ago, it was what I felt looking at the pictures in the paper this morning.
Over the years I have realized that while anger and frustration are bad enough, its helplessness which kills me. What can one do except feel indignant at reading reports such as these. There has to be something, I haven’t yet figured out what.
He had got a last minute call from this girl he adores, and he had to make plans for the evening. So there we were discussing at 6 on the evening of the 31st what his options were. One of these, which both of us thought was an excellent idea, was to go across to Pune, a lovely city and a favourite with many of my friends. Only he felt it was too late already, and if they tried doing that they might well end up spending midnight crossover to the new year in the bus on the highway. So I suggested that to be faster he should take a cool cab instead. His immediate reaction was ‘no way, they are too unsafe for a woman’. I pointed out to him that he would be with her, but he was adamant that it was not safe, and that in the event of any untoward incident on the way, there was little he alone would be able to do to help. I was a little miffed at this restriction that all of us have had to impose on ourselves at some point in our lives. Having grown up in Delhi, I have done that more times than I care to recall, or yet I have never grown used to it. This curb on my freedom inspires an unnaturally strong opposition in me and mixed feelings of anger, helplessness and frustration. This was what I felt yet again as I was having this conversation with X. I mean, this was Mumbai, this city is different.
Apparently not.
The cover story in today’s HT is how a mob ushered in 2008, for themselves and for a couple of young women, for whom the first two hours of 2008 will be unforgettable forever.
It was mobocracy once again.
My apologies to X, he was right. I’m sure he would never want his girl to be caught in a situation like that, and one can hardly blame him for finding the sacrifice of giving up on a romantic trip to Pune preferable to taking the risk.
An aside: If there’s anything to rival my feelings from the conversation a couple of days ago, it was what I felt looking at the pictures in the paper this morning.
Over the years I have realized that while anger and frustration are bad enough, its helplessness which kills me. What can one do except feel indignant at reading reports such as these. There has to be something, I haven’t yet figured out what.
3 comments:
you do realize, don't you, that most guys feel more helpless than girls when something like this happens? .. somehow girls can reconcile themselves to a situation, but a guy cannot, as he has no way to rationalize the fact that he let something like that happen (whether he was with the girl or not becomes immaterial at that point) .. anyways, i see that you've stopped responding to comments posted on your blogs .. does this imply indifference towards your loyal fans or a lack of time ? .. or a third perspective that i've not comprehended yet ? .. :o) ..
bad english, that last sentence .. let me correct it .. a third perspective that i have not BEEN ABLE TO COMPREHEND yet .. :o) ..
Apologies for the delayed response. It implies only a lack of time...
I'm sure men do feel helpless confronted with a situation like this, and my sympathy lies with both. However, 'more' or 'less' is debatable, and matters little.
Girls reconcile because they have no choice, as do boys.
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